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Two people sit across a candlelit table after talking for only a few weeks. They are in love. They are sure of it. And of the one thing that matters most, they have never once spoken a serious word.

What is marriage? Not what it feels like, nor what the world says of it, but what it is. It is a question men think they have answered long before they ask it. They mistake their enthusiasm for wisdom and their hope for knowledge. Yet the question waits. It will be answered in the years that follow, whether it was answered before walking down the aisle or not.

There is something strange about how we live in society today. We treat trivial things with gravity and the most serious matters with a shrug. Simply put, we’re in an age of misplaced priorities. A man will study a contractual agreement for hours to understand every word before penning down his name to buy a house. He will weigh the purchase, compare a hundred small advantages, and guard his money as though it were his soul, to ensure he is getting good value for his money. However, when it comes to the union that will shape his whole life, and the lives of his children, and the temper of his old age, he enters upon it with a feeling, often without sufficient reason. He calls this romantic connection. I think it would be better named “neglect.”

For marriage, rightly understood, is no private arrangement struck for comfort. It is a vocation. It is a sacrament. It is a faithful, lifelong, and procreative union, and it asks of those who would enter it an honesty most couples never reach. The questions that decide a marriage are not the questions lovers delight to ask; not in today’s dating culture. They are harder. They are deep. They are intentional questions: How does this person stand toward their parents, toward siblings? What values have guided and shaped this person’s life? What does this person believe about God, about the faith, about children, about the small daily sacrifices that fill this temporal life?

These are not pleasant questions for courtship. They are avoided precisely because they are weighty. And they are weighty precisely because everything later turns upon them. The conflicts that break a home are seldom strangers. They were present at the beginning, unnamed and unasked, sitting quietly at that candlelit table.

Consider for a moment that courting someone is a kind of interview: One is interviewing another for the office of spouse. The phrase offends the ear of those who often say that going on a date should not feel like “attending an interview”. When a date feels like an interview, it reveals a lack of good social and communication skills, not that the questions are not important.  Yet it offends only because we have forgotten what is at stake. Every courtship ends in one of two ways: in marriage or in parting.

The virtue of prudence lies in discerning – with both intellect and reason – before feelings cloud the judgment. And here is a truth most overlook. A breakup, when it comes from honest discernment, is not a failure. It is a success. The failure is to marry without ever having asked the right questions.

It is this honest asking that Thomas L. McFadden, Jr. sets out to teach in A Catholic’s Guide to Finding the Perfect Spouse: With 101 Simple Questions. The book does not ride on mere sentiments. It offers a roadmap. It lays before the reader the very questions that need asking before one steps up to the altar, beginning with the foundation on which all the rest are built: what marriage is, and what its purpose is.

From that foundation, it moves outward, into faith and family, into habit and finances, into the openness to children that the Church names at the heart of the married vocation. These are the substantial, life-altering questions, as Patrick Madrid calls them in the foreword, the ones whose absence so many wedded people later mourn with the same quiet regret: if only we had spoken of these things before. McFadden has written the book so that fewer couples ever need to speak that sentence. What the questions are, how they search the heart, and what they reveal about a person before it is too late to learn, are generously treated in the book itself.

This is the very conviction on which we at the CatholicCourtship were built. We hold that a good marriage begins long before the wedding, and that it begins by beginning rightly. The world calls this dating, and it bids the young to follow their feelings and let reason trail behind. We do not. We are made for courtship, which is the slow and reverent work of two souls discerning together whether God has called them to marriage as a couple. Our matchmakers help our members be introduced to matches based on profound statements of values and a compatible outlook on faith and family life, so that the courtship process may be both joyful and intentional.

Marriage is sacred. It cannot be approached as a mood is approached. It asks not for sentiment but for honesty, and not for chemistry of feelings but for truth. And so, the art our members must learn is the art of asking the right questions during courtship, while there is still light enough to see by, and time enough to choose well.

For this reason, we have added McFadden’s book as a resource guide on our platform. We refer our members to it as help and a companion, so that the conversations by which they come to know one another might run deeper than the pleasant shallows where most courtships linger. A good question, asked early and answered truly, is worth more than a hundred easy evenings. We would have our members ask such questions, and ask them unafraid.

If you would prepare for marriage as seriously as marriage deserves, do not leave the great question unasked. Read A Catholic’s Guide to Finding the Perfect Spouse: With 101 Simple Questions, and learn the questions before love makes you afraid to ask them.

The post What Is Marriage? What Is It For? Asking the Right Questions During Courtship appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

A car was waiting for her before she ever set foot in the country.

It’s the kind of detail that sounds like the end of a love story, not the middle of one. But for Juliana — a 24-year-old from New Zealand — it was simply the moment she understood that the Canadian man she’d been introduced to a few months earlier was serious, thoughtful, and entirely unlike anyone she’d met before. He had bought a car for her to use, arranged a place for her to live, and quietly prepared a soft landing for a woman moving to the other side of the world to see where God might be leading.

But to understand how a young woman in New Zealand ended up with a car waiting for her in Canada, you have to go back to where it began — with an introduction, and a saint.

Juliana joined CatholicCourtship in early 2024, back when the platform started personal matchmaking introductions between members. By her own account, the odds were not in her favor. She was, as far as she could tell, the only person from New Zealand on the entire platform, with only a handful of Australians scattered nearby. Left to ordinary browsing, it seemed almost impossible that anyone would notice a young woman tucked away at the bottom of the world.

Then, just a couple of days before the feast of St. Joseph in 2024, the introduction came: a young man named Dominic, all the way from Canada.

What few people knew was how close that introduction never came to happening. The matchmaker who paired them later admitted it had been a hard call to make. The sheer distance between New Zealand and Canada gave him pause — on paper, it seemed almost impractical. But after bringing the decision to prayer and asking for God’s will, he felt moved to introduce them anyway. The two were simply too compatible in their values, too clearly suited to one another, to keep apart over a matter of geography. If it was God’s will, he reasoned, distance would prove no barrier at all.

They began texting through the CatholicCourtship app, and within about a week moved their conversation over to Facebook Messenger. Two weeks after their introduction, they had their first video call — and then another, and another. The distance between them was almost comical: a literal hemisphere apart, on opposite sides of the globe. And yet, after only a handful of those calls, Dominic did something that made the thousands of miles between them suddenly feel surmountable.

He asked to come visit her in New Zealand.

That visit happened in September 2024. Whatever expectations either of them carried across the Pacific, the reality exceeded them. The two got along so well in person that, after Dominic flew home, Juliana made a decision that surprised even herself: she applied for a visa to Canada so the two could explore their relationship within actual reach of each other. This is an essential part of courtship – spending time in person to discern whether the man or the woman has sufficient virtues to be a spouse!

It was here that Dominic’s character showed itself most clearly. While Juliana sorted out paperwork and prepared to leave behind everything familiar, he was busy preparing for her arrival. He bought a car for her to use during her stay. He arranged a place for her to live. None of it was asked for; all of it was simply done — the quiet, practical kind of commitment that doesn’t announce itself but builds a foundation a person can actually stand on.

Juliana moved to Canada in December 2024, arriving in time for a white Christmas — a fitting beginning for a New Zealander used to summer in December. With the distance finally closed, the relationship deepened in the way only daily, in-person life allows. And when the time came for Dominic to ask the question, he chose his moment with intention.

He proposed on the feast of St. Joseph in 2025 — exactly one year, almost to the day, from the introduction that first brought them together just before that very feast. For a couple whose story had been quietly threaded with the foster father of Our Lord from the beginning, the symmetry was unmistakable. What had started under St. Joseph’s patronage was now sealed under it.

With the help of both their families, Dominic and Juliana planned a beautiful wedding in Canada, and on September 6, 2025, they were married.

Looking back, Juliana is quick to credit the introduction itself for making any of it possible. “It’s just so hard to find the right person nowadays,” she reflects, “and here we are, thrown right into each other’s path.” She’s candid that without that arranged introduction, the two would almost certainly never have found one another. Dominic told her as much himself — that if it weren’t for the introduction, he would never have thought to reach out to a woman all the way across the world.

In her words, those introductions did more than connect two people. They gave a real chance to those living in the remote corners of the world, and added “a beautiful touch of divine Providence” to every meeting and outcome — a phrase that captures her whole story rather neatly.

Today, Dominic and Juliana have settled into married life in Canada — and as of this summer, they’re preparing for something new. The couple is expecting their first child in July 2026.

“We thank God, St. Joseph, and CatholicCourtship for bringing us together,” Juliana says. “We are blessed and happy in our married life.”

From a single introduction just before the feast of St. Joseph, to a marriage and a child barely two years later — half a world bridged by a little providence and a great deal of intention.
And we at CatholicCourtship couldn’t be happier for them.

The post Dominic and Juliana’s Story appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

In a world where casual dating and all sorts of “alternative” types of relationships have become the norm, single Catholic women can feel like the walls are closing in on them. Even within the Catholic sphere, it is often daunting to connect with men, even those who share a similar faith and worldview.

While much ink has been spilled advising Catholic women about how to brave this storm and find “Mr. Right,” it is important to stay sane during the search. There is no use in chasing your vocation if you end up losing your self-esteem and peace of mind while at it. Instead, these three practices may prove much more helpful in maintaining cheerfulness inside a mind that ardently dreams of a Catholic married life.

I. Do not worry

To quote St. Padre Pio, “Worry is useless.” Why? Because more than half of the things we worry about never come to pass. Most times, the evil one puts hypothetical scenarios in our heads to make us doubt our prayers and God’s ability to hear them.

Have you ever woken up at night with a thousand thoughts about growing old and lonely, never meeting “the one,” or raising children? Those thoughts are not supposed to be there, and my first piece of advice is to soundly disregard them whenever they come knocking.

Instead, pray and offer up your sufferings of loneliness to God on behalf of your future spouse and family. Meditate on the various scenes of Christ’s life in which he was lonely (for example, his Passion and death). Make frequent visits to the Blessed Sacrament and unite the pangs of your loneliness to that of Him who often sits in the repository with no one to comfort Him. Do not look at or envy other women whom you notice are courting, engaged, or married because it will only make you bitter. And finally, be grateful to God for this phase of singleness He is letting you experience and use it for good.

II. Live an Authentic Catholic Life

You’re probably already familiar with these points: Frequent Mass, Adoration, and Confession, exercise diligence in one’s duty of state in life, etc. It can be dulling to hear the same thing times without number, but this advice is not only restricted to single people, and there’s a reason: To truly follow Christ in this world, you need strength from the Sacraments, which provide the necessary graces to do what is required of you by God in the present day. And that includes the grace of a peaceful mind.

If you are someone who is actively pursuing your vocation with as much virtue as you can practice, of course, you’ll be open to some spiritual and mental attacks from the devil. These include temptations to self-doubt, frustration, despair, etc. – all of which we would succumb to if left to our own devices.

So, frequent the Sacraments, read good books (including those concerning the marriage vocation), nurture holy friendships, be diligent in your duty of state in life, and use your time judiciously. It is in paying attention to these small obligations that God slowly prepares us for and leads us toward our future spouse.

As Christ said, “He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in that which is greater: and he that is unjust in that which is little, is unjust also in that which is greater.” -Luke 16:10.

In sum, prove to God that you can serve Him faithfully in singleness so that He can give you the greater task of serving Him in marriage.

III. Embrace your femininity in active preparation for your vocation.

To marry the kind of man you want, you must become the kind of woman that a man of similar affiliation may want. If you lean more into your essence as a woman, it is only natural that a good, masculine man will be attracted to you. Logically, now is the time to live in your femininity to attract a good Catholic spouse. Moreover, doing this will help you prepare for marriage and family, which thrives when a woman possesses the virtue of femininity.

It is quite difficult for women in the modern age to embrace femininity, an idea that is popularly considered archaic. However, since womanhood is our natural essence, we will only ever be ourselves when we lean into our femininity. Of course, the picture or expression of femininity varies from woman to woman, but the point of reference for all is the recognition of our nurturing nature.

There are numerous guides and well-written books on the essence of femininity from a Catholic/Christian perspective, and the first step to discovering your unique expression of femininity is to study those resources in order to know who you are and who you should show yourself to be as a Catholic woman. Some such books include The Anti-Mary Exposed by Carrie Gress and Reveal the Gift (Living the Feminine Genius) by Lisa Cotter.

Another good practice is to engage in hobbies that nurture your femininity, especially those that are relationship-oriented. To sharpen your feminine intuition, practice caring for the various relationships and communities in your life. Since we are all different, these hobbies/affiliations will look different from woman to woman, but they can all help you to get more comfortable with and embrace your femininity.

You might consider taking up a craft, such as sewing or cooking, to gift the important people in your life with handmade tokens of affection. Or perhaps you could volunteer in your community, either at your parish, local school, or a shelter. Any activity that allows you to cultivate the gifts of nurturing and service that are so integral to femininity can fit the bill.

In Summary

Though these three tips are inherently useful in navigating the single phase, without a doubt, there are many more practices that a single Catholic woman may include in her daily life to make her time of waiting worthwhile.

Have you discovered any more in your journey to marriage? Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments. What are the things you do or that you think add value to your single phase as a Catholic woman?

The post 3 Best Practices for Single Catholic Women appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

Let’s explore the purpose and intent behind dating and courtship, focusing on the importance of compatibility in courtship. Unlike casual dating, which may not lead to marriage, courtship is intentional and centered on evaluating long-term compatibility and the potential for a lifelong commitment.

We’ll look at these distinctions in more detail, highlighting the exclusivity and serious evaluation involved in courtship compared to the more relaxed approach of dating.

Courtship is Future-Focused

One of the most essential components of courtship is honest evaluation with an eye to a potential future marriage. It’s not just about whether a couple likes the same movies or enjoys the same food. It’s about discovering shared values and life goals and learning to understand and anticipate each other’s emotional needs. It’s a process meant to establish a strong emotional connection, and it often involves seeking insights from family or spiritual leaders.

Unlike casual dating, courtship is a purposeful endeavor that signifies readiness for a lifelong union. It involves a series of sequential steps, starting with friendship and progressing to a formal courtship, in which the couple gets to know each other deeply, understands each other’s aspirations, and makes plans for a shared future.

In courtship, the focus is on evaluating compatibility for marriage and determining if a couple is ready to make that serious commitment. It’s not just about finding a date for Saturday night, or even just about finding a partner – it’s about discernment and preparation for a life together.

Dating is Present-Focused

Contrary to courtship, dating often caters to those seeking casual companionship, entertainment, and a chance to explore diverse relationship dynamics without an immediate goal of marriage. Casual outings and entertainment are often the focus of such dating experiences, with a couple’s attention directed toward short-term enjoyment and fun exploration, rather than a long-term commitment.

Dating in this light can allow individuals the opportunity to learn and grow personally, coming to a better understanding of what one seeks in a partner, how to communicate effectively, and how to respect and compromise for harmonious interaction. Of course, safety must be a priority in these explorations, with an understanding that mutual consent, respect, and transparency are fundamental.

This form of dating can be a vibrant and enriching part of one’s life journey, provided it’s undertaken with a clear mind and a respectful attitude. However, without the structure and intentionality that courtship provides, there is always a danger that a couple will continue to put off serious discernment and discussion until a later date.

How to Gage Long-Term Compatibility in Courtship

Because courtship is about building a serious relationship with the intention of marriage, courting couples should consider the following:

1. Gauging long-term compatibility: Can you see yourselves growing old together?
2. Checking marriage intent: Are both parties interested in marriage or is one person not as committed?
3. Evaluating relationship seriousness: Is this a relationship you’re both committed to or is it one-sided?
4. Considering lifelong partnership: Do you both have the same goals and values for your future together?

If so, you may be well on your way to a fulfilling, rewarding, and – most importantly – sanctifying marriage.

The post Assessing Long-Term Compatibility in Courtship appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

While dating often entails casual outings and fun, courtship centers around family involvement and purposeful interactions. Remember that dating is essential to initially assess compatibility before entering into courtship and to continue to build a strong bond between partners. However, if couples do not progress beyond this phase, they will likely struggle to evaluate long-term compatibility for marriage. This is why the structure, intentionality, and discipline of courtship are so important.

Below, we’ll consider some essential characteristics of courtship, and compare them to dating.

I. The goal of courtship is marriage

In contrast to the casual nature of dating, the first and most important aspect of courtship is the emphasis on family involvement and purposeful interactions. Courtship emphasizes family involvement and intentional, purposeful interactions. We often hear about intentionality in relationships, a value that many young men and women shy away from due to a lack of interest in commitment. This is a problem many face when dating – being unequally yoked with someone who isn’t desirous of a long-term commitment.

On the other hand, couples enter into a courtship with hopes that they may have found their potential spouse and pursue such hope with intentionality. This allows individuals to build a strong relationship foundation based on commitment and shared values while encouraging open and honest communication. These interactions aren’t just casual chats about superficial preferences, but deep conversations that reveal character, convictions, and long-term goals.

The family also plays an important role in courtship by providing moral oversight and guidance, which can bring a sense of safety and assurance that the couple is making a good decision in moving forward toward marriage. As the saying goes, you don’t just marry a person; you marry their family. Because courtship is focused on discerning marriage, family relationships will play a large part in said discernment process.

II. Courtship is values-based

Another important factor to consider while dating is the lack of definitive values and morals to uphold, which may lead to situations that compromise our moral values.

In its casual form, dating can create ethical dilemmas, particularly when relationship boundaries aren’t delineated. It can also lead to a conflict of values when the moral standards of the individuals involved fail to align cohesively.

This can particularly manifest in the area of intimacy concerns, when the casual nature of dating leads to a relaxation of personal and moral standards in some, and a disappointment at said relaxation in others.

The best way to ensure an alignment of beliefs and values is to enter into courtship, which is not only values-based but also marriage-oriented.

III. Courtship is focused on the long-term

Shifting our focus from the structured world of courtship, we find that dating often centers more on casual fun and short-term enjoyment. While courtship is geared towards serious relationships and commitment, dating is often seen as a more laid-back process. This doesn’t mean dating can’t lead to serious relationships, however, that is typically not its primary purpose.

Dating, in its essence, involves casual relationships. It’s about meeting different people, enjoying their company, and having fun. This can take the form of:

1. Short-Term Flings: Temporary relationships focused on fun rather than commitment.
2. Casual Outings: Going out for meals, movies, or other activities without the serious undertones of courtship.
3. Lack of Commitment: In dating, the emphasis is usually on enjoyment rather than long-term commitment.
4. Moral Compromise: Sometimes, dating can lead to situations where personal values are compromised for the sake of fun or attraction.

The Bottom Line

Contrary to dating, courtship explicitly aims to evaluate long-term compatibility and suitability for marriage. It’s a process designed to appraise whether a couple can make a long-term commitment, with marriage as the ultimate goal. It’s about a deeper, intentional connection, not just a fun and casual meet-up.

We aren’t suggesting that dating is negative; it’s simply a different approach to relationships. However, when engaging in casual dating it’s very important to be clear about your intentions and respectful of others’ feelings.

The post How Does Courtship Compare to Dating? appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

Before moving forward in our series, let’s first take a moment to clear up some common misconceptions about courtship and dating. Some use both words interchangeably simply because couples in courtship could use the word “date” when describing an activity in which both engage together. However, this misunderstanding arises from a lack of differentiation between dates and dating. Although the terms ‘dates’ and ‘dating’ may seem synonymous, there are subtle differences that impact both relationship progression and expectations.

Dating dynamics can be intricate and multi-faceted, leading to a blend of interpretations and practices. These relationship differences are important when maneuvering the complex world of romantic interactions, so it’s essential to understand them.

When one says, “We’re going on a date,” it typically implies the individual outing or activity you participate in with someone you’re interested in. This could be a dinner, a movie, or a walk in the park. But just because you go on dates doesn’t mean you’re in the dating phase of a relationship. A date is an activity, while dating is a process. Look at it this way: when a married couple goes out on a Friday evening for a planned dinner or a social event, they are on a date. Would that mean they’re dating? Of course not. They’re simply spending quality time together to foster a better emotional connection, which is an important aspect of their marital relationship.

Therefore, those in the courtship stage can enjoy dates without interchanging their courtship with dating. From the perspective of courtship, dating is the act of regularly going on dates with the same person, intending to get to know them better to determine if you are compatible enough to progress to an active discernment of marriage – in other words, to enter into courtship.

Even after an exclusive and intentional relationship has been established, going on dates doesn’t dilute the seriousness of courtship. Instead, it enriches the process by allowing couples to build a better connection by spending quality time together. The contrast to those couples who are simply ‘dating’ is that such couples may simply continue moving from date to date without taking the time to establish an end goal or discuss more serious matters like faith, values, and marriage, leading to a potentially drawn-out discernment phase, if ever a discernment period is undertaken.

So Dating is Still Part of Courtship?

Yes. Despite common misconceptions, courting couples can indeed enjoy going on dates as part of their relationship journey. This isn’t a contradiction to courtship’s principles but rather an essential aspect of relationship building. Going on dates allows couples to spend quality time together, fostering an emotional connection.

These shared experiences often lead to meaningful conversations that deepen their understanding of each other. By exploring different environments and situations, couples can examine their compatibility and assess how well they deal with real-life scenarios. Dates offer a safe environment in which to express thoughts, concerns, aspirations, and dreams in a relaxed setting.

Contrary to popular belief, courtship is not all about formalities and rigid rules; in comparison to dating, it’s the quality of interaction and connection that truly makes the difference.

The post If We Go on Dates, Aren’t We Dating? appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

Though typically used interchangeably, courtship and dating are not the same thing. Courtship, a process with deep historical roots, is an intentional journey aimed at marriage, often with significant family and community involvement. It’s a sincere, traditional, and purposeful journey with clear end goals that are not just personal but also communal, invoking a sense of respect for our cultural heritage.

Dating, on the other hand, is a more modern phenomenon, and can be more casual and explorative, offering individuals the freedom to get to know each other without definite commitments or fixed aims. While both may lead to enduring relationships, they offer different partnership experiences and approaches.

In this introduction, we’ll explore the significant differences between courtship and dating, examining their unique characteristics, purposes, and commitment levels. From tracing their historical origins, we find that courtship was traditionally viewed as a path to marriage, while dating emerged as a more casual, modern practice.

In today’s world, societal norms around relationships have evolved. Dating has become widely accepted in its many forms, sometimes overshadowing the traditional practice of courtship. However, for many people, the intent and seriousness of courtship offer a sense of safety and clarity that modern dating practices may lack.

In this series, we’ll explore these aspects further, providing an in-depth analysis of courtship and dating. We aim to offer a thorough understanding of both concepts, helping you make informed decisions about finding a life partner.

Defining Courtship and Dating

So to begin, what exactly are courtship and dating, and how do they differ from each other? Let’s peel back the layers of these two distinct interactions, considering both historical context and modern perspectives.

1. Courtship: Courtship, often seen through the lens of cultural differences, involves intentionally pursuing a partner with the aim of marriage. It’s a structured process adhering to societal norms and often involving family input, reflecting its historical roots in arranged marriages. The psychological impact of courtship is significant as it sets a clear trajectory towards a life-long commitment, providing a sense of security to both partners.
2. Dating: Dating is a more casual process. It’s a modern phenomenon that varies from person to person and culture to culture. Because it lacks an accompanying moral or behavioral code or even a common objective, it can range anywhere from casual social interactions to serious relationships.
3. The key difference lies in the intent. Courtship is a serious, deliberate process aimed at marriage, while dating can be more exploratory and casual.
4. Both have their pros and cons. Courtship’s clear path provides security, while dating’s flexibility allows for personal growth and discovery.

The post Is Courtship and Dating the Same Thing? appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

The Virgin Mary is an iconic model for us Catholics. However, for us Catholic women, she poses a special example, because she is like us in our most essential attribute: Womanhood.

The state of femininity in our current culture strongly testifies to the need for more women to accept their God-given role in society. Indeed, Our Lady, a mother, and a virgin, can provide insights for women from all walks of life, and imitating her involves nothing more than looking at her virtues and finding pragmatic ways they may be incorporated into our daily lives as ladies.

Humility and Receptivity

The Church considers humility as the foundation of all virtues because it is upon humility that all other virtues can be built. Humility allows us to recognize our poor state as fallen humans and, therefore, see our need to be granted goods. As a result, it enables us to constantly seek God’s mercy, goodness, and providence in our lives. 

In light of this, humility is most responsible for developing femininity; without it, the art of receiving is almost impossible to cultivate. To be feminine is to be receptive. Do you wonder why the Church is always considered ‘mother’? The Church is spoken about in the feminine pronoun because she receives us as her children and nourishes us in the teachings and precepts that she has received from Christ. The Virgin Mary does the same in a far more personal manner. She lived her life only receiving and pondering on God’s graces.

As St. Joseph’s wife, she lived in complete receptivity to God’s providence through her husband’s hands. As Our Lord’s mother, she was receptive to His will in suffering and dying for mankind. As our mother, she is always there to receive our prayers and pray for us in return.

Today, the notion of receptivity in women is looked down upon, because of the false idea that it makes women weaker. A perfect example is the posters boasting the slogan, ‘Chivalry is dead’. If it is, why did it die? Why have women grown so repulsive to the idea of receiving from men, or even other women? Receptivity does not make you weaker. It is pride that gives you the illusion that you need no help or gift.

When you are gifted, complimented, or helped, be grateful and show that you are. In family life, friends, and work environments do not be afraid to ask for help when needed, whatever the issue may be. In your spousal relationship, practice being receptive to your husband in little and big things alike. Show appreciation from the heart when something is done for you, no matter who has done it or the quality of the favor.

In your relationship with God, recognize your utter dependence on him in everything you do -prayer and duties. There is strength in giving, but I believe there is more in receiving. And only humility can help you receive well.

Purity and Childlikeness

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But, when I became a man, I put away the things of a child.” -1 Cor. 13:11.

St. Paul is right. However, the only things of a child that should not be put away are purity (innocence) and childlikeness. Apart from the fact that Our Lady is perpetually pure, her life can be seen as an example of child-like confidence in God. Though she harbored difficulties and uncertainties while caring for her Divine Son, she always carefully placed them under His consideration. In Church tradition, it is said that she always besought the Lord with humble and quiet entreaties.

As a child, it is beneficial to see life innocently and to let go of the many cares that may make us sulky, bitter, or frustrated with life. Being a child is synonymous with being happy, even on the rainy days. There is always something to be grateful for, and of the things that worry us, humble confidence in God never fails.

The next time you get anxious about something, resolve to take it to prayer and confidently leave it before God’s feet. Then run outside, like a child, and play. Smile and find things that make you happy. His providence has never failed me. Instead, I have found that most of the things I worry about never come to fruition.

Modesty and Meekness

Modesty has become a topic of contention, even among Christian circles. Though it is not an unimportant topic, I see that ‘modesty in dressing’ is often more talked about than ‘modesty in conduct’. As women, our outward appearance should reflect our dignity. However, no matter how modest we become in appearance, if our conduct is sullying, it’ll be much more damaging.

The previous statements on humility may be considered here. Modesty is the virtue moderating our outward appearance and conduct, and to do so requires humility. It is said of Our Lady that while on earth, her apparel and behavior reflected that she was the handmaid of the Lord. Even in Marian apparitions, where her clothing and mannerisms are described, she is always modest. Her modesty adds so much to her mystique and gives testament to her status as the Queen of Heaven and Earth. Even on Earth, royals are always seen to behave and dress modestly.

So why not improve your feminine mystique by developing the virtues of modesty and meekness? Resolve to think before speech or action. Will your next word or deed help your neighbor or praise God? Put consideration into your clothing styles and choices, because dressing well is a virtue in and of itself. Be slow to anger and frustration, whether it be from friends, families, and especially enemies. You could also resolve to shun the vainglory that comes from the inordinate expression of yourself, whether it be in clothing or behavior.

Finally, many more Marian virtues can be discussed concerning growing as a feminine woman. But the most important is humility, from which all other virtues stem. The more you become virtuous, the more you will develop in your femininity, and the more you will resemble Our Lady.

The post 3 Virtues Single Women Can Learn from the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

Are you one of those ladies who is confident in her femininity without needing to say anything, yet have you felt alone among the company because you are not one of the more outspoken women in the group? While other ladies seem to ‘get on’ with the other people, you sit there like a photograph of Audrey Hepburn, smiling at jokes you don’t understand while crafting sentences in your head that never get spoken.

If this sounds familiar, you may be a sensitive introvert, and you’re in good company. Read on to discover how to deal with this dilemma, accept yourself for who you are, and be as confident on the inside as you seem on the outside.

You Are Not Alone

Everyone is born with a dose of timidness. Some are born with doses as huge as a pint or two; others are born with a dose as small as a vial. Either way, everyone has a sense of self-awareness that sometimes (or more often, likely) makes them feel ‘like they don’t belong’.

The ladies who may appear to be more in sync with conversations (especially with the opposite sex), who are always in just the right mood, are never shy, or who often tell the right jokes, would attest to the same difficulty of timidness. It’s just that they handle it differently.

Of course, as an acclaimed introvert, you may feel it more than the average lady in the room, but the important thing to learn is this: You are not alone.

But, if so, how come you’re the only one seeming to care about it? How do those extroverted ladies overcome their timidness and show more confidence? And how might you imitate them in that regard?

I. Be Yourself

Everyone is born differently. Some are extroverted and find relaxation in standing out. Others find solace in quietly recharging themselves with a cup of tea. Some are just in the middle.

Understand that most ladies with a more outreaching personality are just being themselves. The way they step out of their shyness and relax is by being more extroverted.

If you, as a sensitive woman, feel foolish or awkward because you are not contributing as much to the conversation or are not talking enough to the man in the corner that you really like, I suggest you close your eyes, shut out all the noise, and just… be yourself. You are a lady, already confident in your femininity, and if the way you express it is different from your fellow Godly women, it’s okay. There is no need to try to be something that you’re not – trust me.

Now, you may be thinking: “Yes, I know all of this. I know that I should be myself, and I know that I am confident in myself as a Godly woman. But why do I still find myself comparing my looks or personality to that of other women? And how do I stop that?”

II. Improve Your Self-Perception

Consider this: the things you find admirable in other women may be a source of low self-esteem for them. Likewise, the same negative thoughts going through your mind when you’re internalizing your worth may be about the very things that other people find attractive!

Often, these things are things you cannot necessarily change; physical traits like looks, smiles, the way your voice or laugh sounds, etc. However, perceptions of behavior (a changeable quality) might also come into play.

Notice how people respond when you interact with them. By all means, if you sense that you come off as snobbish or aloof when speaking to people, pay attention to the instinct. Better yet, ask a friend and listen to their verdict on the matter, because sometimes, people’s reaction to your behavior may have nothing to do with you. But if not, be less severe with yourself. When people look at you (especially men), they do not necessarily see you; they see an ideal of you – that is, the aura you carry.

This is especially true for somebody who may not know you very well. If you are an intensely feminine woman (whether sensitive or not), people will perceive you as the type of charisma you carry around. Looks do not matter. It’s what’s inside.

So, if you are worried that the other women are prettier, more extroverted, or better at ‘fitting in’, you are mistaken. Their prettiness or funniness has little or nothing to do with it. It’s their charisma. And you should consider bringing your unique and attractive charisma to the table, even if it’s silence most of the way.

III. Know Your Worth

Remember that you are valuable. Silence and organized sound are what make a symphony. Your sensitivity or inwardness is also of great use in this world, giving you the incredible capability to see and even feel the joys and sufferings of your neighbor more acutely. So, the next time you are in a room full of people or a group conversation and genuinely have nothing to say or do but watch other people express themselves, rest in the fact that you are partaking in all their experiences in a deeper way. What better way to express your femininity – and indeed, imitate Our Lord – who is always leaning a listening ear to our broken hearts?

Lastly, remember that it’s alright to be sensitive. It’s who you are and honestly, is the essence of healthy femininity. Just look at Our Lady, who frequently chose to ponder contemplatively before speaking. Embrace introversion, but don’t let it devour you. Find an outlet (i.e. a hobby) that you love; help your community the best way you fancy; and give the unquenchable ache to the Sacred Heart in prayer. Because in the end, God understands best what’s in your heart, and He will lead you securely along your path to love.

The post Quiet Ladies: Don’t be Ashamed of Being Quiet! appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

Have you ever thought of someone, ‘There’s something about him (or her) that makes me feel so good.’ More common with men is, ‘Wow, she’s… something.’

That something is called charisma.

Charisma isn’t a thing you think about. It’s a conscious thought about someone that suddenly swings to your subconscious mind, and stays there. However, it is incredibly significant in molding the way you see your neighbor and vice versa.

Why do you think the saying ‘first impression lasts’ is so popular? Because what makes the first impression is charisma, and if your charisma rubs off wrongly on people… it will remain like that unless there is some serious change.

The good news is, that positive charisma can be built easily if it is not already there.

What is Charisma?

In a deeper meaning, charisma stems from the Greek language, and means ‘favor’ or ‘gift.’ Originally, it was considered a religious term, referring to the extraordinary gifts of the Holy Spirit, more prominent in the early church (healing, speaking in tongues, etc).

However, modern language has extended the meaning to be synonymous with words like personality, aura, charm, etc., and while this meaning is more relevant to this discussion, it does not take anything away from the original definition.

Your unique personality is a gift to you from God, and like the talents in Our Lord’s parable, you don’t want to bury it and waste the fortunes you could make by harnessing it.

The question now becomes: ‘How do I harness it?’ In fact, ‘How am I sure of which personality I possess before thinking of building it?’

The answer is simple: Know who you are and live accordingly.

You are a human being – Recognize your purpose

You are a creature, comprised of both body and soul. You are made in the image and likeness of God, meaning you have memory, understanding (rational intellect), and a will (to do good and avoid evil). You are an emotional, social, and cultural being, made to interact with the whole of creation, and especially with God himself.

As a human, the first thing you should do to understand your personality is to live as such. Use your body and soul to know, love, and serve the One that created you. He knows you more than you know yourself.

Consider how much better the world would be right now if the majority of the populace knew and lived this truth: firstly, love God. Then, love your neighbor, and all other things – especially yourself – for the sake of God. Enjoy the things that God has made for you (people, nature, food, drink, etc.), in the right seasons, and with all decency.

You are a woman – Exude femininity with confidence

Demolish that infamous saying that men and women are the same – this is definitely not the case!

You are a woman, literally meaning ‘out of the womb of man’. You were made to give life and to nurture. There is no greater task other than that of the Creator himself. God’s masterpiece, the Virgin Mary, is a woman, whom all women should take as our model.

Having this essential attribute of procreation, it is only natural that women are softer, more intuitive, empathic, compassionate, sensitive, and more acutely aware of themselves and their surroundings. Women are houses made of glass, made to protect precious stones: the presence of God, souls of tiny human beings destined to be saints, and feelings and experiences of our fellow human beings that deserve as much consideration. Women are the heart of the world.

The more you get in touch with this notion of womanhood (called femininity), the more you will tune into your unique personality.

Not all women are the same, but all women should possess these traits because they are the essence of a woman’s nature. And just as the same perfume smells slightly differently on everyone, these qualities of femininity look different across various feminine archetypes or personalities, largely informed and expressed by one’s hobbies, talents, likes/dislikes, etc.

But the bottom line is this: A woman’s charm comes from the essence of her femininity. Develop those and your personality will pop, as they say.

Fortunately, many modern women are waking up to this fact and starting to obey their impulses to be feminine. But one thing they lack is a great (not just good) role model. As Catholics, we know who that is…

You are Catholic – Stand by your morals

The heading says it all.

The fact that you are Catholic means that you can recognize true models of femininity in the Holy Mother Church (who only receives from the Head, Christ), and in Mary, the Mother of God. Taking guidance from the ultimate woman, Our Lady, you will never get lost. Ask her intercession always and she will help you develop femininity – or better yet, virtue – in all areas of your life (work, family, friends, etc.).

As a Catholic lady, your conduct should be informed by the precepts of the Church, recognizing its teaching authority in profound humility and spirit of obedience. Your conduct should also be as one living in imitation of Our Lord and the Saints. In all things, be mild, charitable, patient, obedient, chaste, modest, merciful to others and yourself, etc.

Not only will you be a woman, but you will also be a God-fearing lady; a very picture of Our Lady herself. Anyone you come across will sense this, and men and women alike will respect you.

The post Charisma: What it is and How to Harness It. appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.