404 Not Found

In a world where casual dating and all sorts of “alternative” types of relationships have become the norm, single Catholic women can feel like the walls are closing in on them. Even within the Catholic sphere, it is often daunting to connect with men, even those who share a similar faith and worldview.

While much ink has been spilled advising Catholic women about how to brave this storm and find “Mr. Right,” it is important to stay sane during the search. There is no use in chasing your vocation if you end up losing your self-esteem and peace of mind while at it. Instead, these three practices may prove much more helpful in maintaining cheerfulness inside a mind that ardently dreams of a Catholic married life.

I. Do not worry

To quote St. Padre Pio, “Worry is useless.” Why? Because more than half of the things we worry about never come to pass. Most times, the evil one puts hypothetical scenarios in our heads to make us doubt our prayers and God’s ability to hear them.

Have you ever woken up at night with a thousand thoughts about growing old and lonely, never meeting “the one,” or raising children? Those thoughts are not supposed to be there, and my first piece of advice is to soundly disregard them whenever they come knocking.

Instead, pray and offer up your sufferings of loneliness to God on behalf of your future spouse and family. Meditate on the various scenes of Christ’s life in which he was lonely (for example, his Passion and death). Make frequent visits to the Blessed Sacrament and unite the pangs of your loneliness to that of Him who often sits in the repository with no one to comfort Him. Do not look at or envy other women whom you notice are courting, engaged, or married because it will only make you bitter. And finally, be grateful to God for this phase of singleness He is letting you experience and use it for good.

II. Live an Authentic Catholic Life

You’re probably already familiar with these points: Frequent Mass, Adoration, and Confession, exercise diligence in one’s duty of state in life, etc. It can be dulling to hear the same thing times without number, but this advice is not only restricted to single people, and there’s a reason: To truly follow Christ in this world, you need strength from the Sacraments, which provide the necessary graces to do what is required of you by God in the present day. And that includes the grace of a peaceful mind.

If you are someone who is actively pursuing your vocation with as much virtue as you can practice, of course, you’ll be open to some spiritual and mental attacks from the devil. These include temptations to self-doubt, frustration, despair, etc. – all of which we would succumb to if left to our own devices.

So, frequent the Sacraments, read good books (including those concerning the marriage vocation), nurture holy friendships, be diligent in your duty of state in life, and use your time judiciously. It is in paying attention to these small obligations that God slowly prepares us for and leads us toward our future spouse.

As Christ said, “He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in that which is greater: and he that is unjust in that which is little, is unjust also in that which is greater.” -Luke 16:10.

In sum, prove to God that you can serve Him faithfully in singleness so that He can give you the greater task of serving Him in marriage.

III. Embrace your femininity in active preparation for your vocation.

To marry the kind of man you want, you must become the kind of woman that a man of similar affiliation may want. If you lean more into your essence as a woman, it is only natural that a good, masculine man will be attracted to you. Logically, now is the time to live in your femininity to attract a good Catholic spouse. Moreover, doing this will help you prepare for marriage and family, which thrives when a woman possesses the virtue of femininity.

It is quite difficult for women in the modern age to embrace femininity, an idea that is popularly considered archaic. However, since womanhood is our natural essence, we will only ever be ourselves when we lean into our femininity. Of course, the picture or expression of femininity varies from woman to woman, but the point of reference for all is the recognition of our nurturing nature.

There are numerous guides and well-written books on the essence of femininity from a Catholic/Christian perspective, and the first step to discovering your unique expression of femininity is to study those resources in order to know who you are and who you should show yourself to be as a Catholic woman. Some such books include The Anti-Mary Exposed by Carrie Gress and Reveal the Gift (Living the Feminine Genius) by Lisa Cotter.

Another good practice is to engage in hobbies that nurture your femininity, especially those that are relationship-oriented. To sharpen your feminine intuition, practice caring for the various relationships and communities in your life. Since we are all different, these hobbies/affiliations will look different from woman to woman, but they can all help you to get more comfortable with and embrace your femininity.

You might consider taking up a craft, such as sewing or cooking, to gift the important people in your life with handmade tokens of affection. Or perhaps you could volunteer in your community, either at your parish, local school, or a shelter. Any activity that allows you to cultivate the gifts of nurturing and service that are so integral to femininity can fit the bill.

In Summary

Though these three tips are inherently useful in navigating the single phase, without a doubt, there are many more practices that a single Catholic woman may include in her daily life to make her time of waiting worthwhile.

Have you discovered any more in your journey to marriage? Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments. What are the things you do or that you think add value to your single phase as a Catholic woman?

The post 3 Best Practices for Single Catholic Women appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.

Now that you’re ready to embark on your path toward marriage, it’s important that you spend time in places that will facilitate interactions with potential partners. Courtship from an online perspective means joining a virtual platform or an app. Just as you would put time and effort into your appearance when attending a young adult event in person, you should spend this first week polishing your profile. It would help if you also aimed to interact with as many people as possible. Don’t worry; superficial connections will be pruned away as time passes. For right now, be open and start the conversation.

Goals for the first week

For Women:

• Unless you receive an offensive or single-word message, respond to every message you receive.
• Keep your responses brief. Don’t send a longer message than you receive.
• Remain polite and refrain from getting too attached to one person.
• Don’t feel obligated to answer personal questions this early in the conversation. If someone asks a question you’d instead not answer or that feels too deep for a casual discussion, state that you’re not comfortable discussing the matter at this time.
• Pray about your conversations and ask the Lord to direct them according to His will.

For Men:

• Message the women you’re interested in, but be sure to personalize your messages. Spending a little time reading her profile and asking meaningful questions will go a long way toward facilitating a fruitful conversation.
• Be open to everyone you meet, but refrain from sending messages to someone who doesn’t seem like a good fit for you. For example, don’t message a woman living two states away if you’re not interested in a long-distance relationship. Instead, focus on those living nearby.
• Keep your conversations light and friendly. Now is no time to discuss past relationships or how many children you want.
• Always reply to any responses you may receive. Ghosting is not only disrespectful, it’s also hurtful. You started the conversation; the least you can do is keep it going.
• Pray about your conversations and ask the Lord to direct them according to His will.

Tips for Creating a Successful Profile

If you want to stand out from the crowd, follow these simple tips:

1. Use Photos to Tell Your Story

Select photos that tell potential partners something about you. Do you love to hike? Take a photo outdoors on your favorite trail. Is cooking your thing? Get a shot of yourself plating your best dish. As far as your profile is concerned, you can never go wrong with a clear headshot and a sincere smile. No sunglasses allowed!

Do: Create a holistic image of who you are through your photos

Don’ts: Include pictures that are blurry, distant, or unclear in purpose, such as getting lost in group photos.

2. Be Specific

Including specific details about you can help others better understand who you are. Consider these examples. Which statement is more engaging and informative?

“I enjoy spending time with friends.”

“My family and I are very close.”

“I like to read.”

“My friends and I are on a mission to visit every museum in Washington.”

“My brothers and I have a standing tradition called Saints and Smokes. Last month, we discussed St. Junipero Serra while sampling Padron 1964.”

“I have a weakness for historical fiction, with a little bit of sci-fi thrown into the mix.”

3. Mention Your Ideal Partner

Remember, your profile isn’t just about you. Potential partners will use your profile to determine whether you two might be a good fit, so mentioning what you’re looking for in a partner is important. Whatever you’re looking for, be honest about it.

For example,

“I’m an easygoing person who enjoys trying new things and is looking for a like-minded individual to share fun experiences with.”

Or

“I dream of buying a farm and trying my hand at homesteading. I’d love to meet someone who loves nature and wants to get back to basics.”

4. Be Positive and People-Centered

You know what they say – you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. The same principle applies to your profile. If you want to attract a potential partner, focus on the positives and emphasize the things you’re passionate about or enjoy doing. Avoid mentioning prior relationships or negative experiences. Even if they’re a part of your story, you can always spin things positively. For example, instead of, “I’ve gone through some difficult relationships and need someone who won’t cheat,” try, “My past experiences have taught me to value honesty, intentionality, and communication.”

Ultimately, your profile should reflect who you are and what you seek. Just be yourself, and you’ll be well on your way to meeting your future spouse.

The following article in this series is on Make Your Choice and Schedule a Video Call during the second week.

The post Joining a Virtual Platform and Making Connections appeared first on CatholicCourtship Blog.