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Featured – CatholicCourtship Blog https://thecatholiccourtship.org Guiding Catholic Hearts | Insights for Purposeful Courtship Mon, 15 Jun 2026 14:58:21 +0000 en hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1.2 https://thecatholiccourtship.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/cropped-CCBlogFav512px-32x32.png Featured – CatholicCourtship Blog https://thecatholiccourtship.org 32 32 Dominic and Juliana’s Story https://thecatholiccourtship.org/dominic-and-julianas-story/ https://thecatholiccourtship.org/dominic-and-julianas-story/#respond Mon, 15 Jun 2026 14:57:05 +0000 https://thecatholiccourtship.org/?p=9330

A car was waiting for her before she ever set foot in the country. It’s the kind of detail that sounds like the end of a love story, not the middle of one. But for Juliana — a 24-year-old from New Zealand — it was simply the moment she understood that the Canadian man she’d [...]

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A car was waiting for her before she ever set foot in the country.

It’s the kind of detail that sounds like the end of a love story, not the middle of one. But for Juliana — a 24-year-old from New Zealand — it was simply the moment she understood that the Canadian man she’d been introduced to a few months earlier was serious, thoughtful, and entirely unlike anyone she’d met before. He had bought a car for her to use, arranged a place for her to live, and quietly prepared a soft landing for a woman moving to the other side of the world to see where God might be leading.

But to understand how a young woman in New Zealand ended up with a car waiting for her in Canada, you have to go back to where it began — with an introduction, and a saint.

Juliana joined CatholicCourtship in early 2024, back when the platform started personal matchmaking introductions between members. By her own account, the odds were not in her favor. She was, as far as she could tell, the only person from New Zealand on the entire platform, with only a handful of Australians scattered nearby. Left to ordinary browsing, it seemed almost impossible that anyone would notice a young woman tucked away at the bottom of the world.

Then, just a couple of days before the feast of St. Joseph in 2024, the introduction came: a young man named Dominic, all the way from Canada.

What few people knew was how close that introduction never came to happening. The matchmaker who paired them later admitted it had been a hard call to make. The sheer distance between New Zealand and Canada gave him pause — on paper, it seemed almost impractical. But after bringing the decision to prayer and asking for God’s will, he felt moved to introduce them anyway. The two were simply too compatible in their values, too clearly suited to one another, to keep apart over a matter of geography. If it was God’s will, he reasoned, distance would prove no barrier at all.

Dominic and Juliana were first introduced just days before the feast of St. Joseph
Dominic and Juliana were first introduced just days before the feast of St. Joseph”

They began texting through the CatholicCourtship app, and within about a week moved their conversation over to Facebook Messenger. Two weeks after their introduction, they had their first video call — and then another, and another. The distance between them was almost comical: a literal hemisphere apart, on opposite sides of the globe. And yet, after only a handful of those calls, Dominic did something that made the thousands of miles between them suddenly feel surmountable.

He asked to come visit her in New Zealand.

That visit happened in September 2024. Whatever expectations either of them carried across the Pacific, the reality exceeded them. The two got along so well in person that, after Dominic flew home, Juliana made a decision that surprised even herself: she applied for a visa to Canada so the two could explore their relationship within actual reach of each other. This is an essential part of courtship – spending time in person to discern whether the man or the woman has sufficient virtues to be a spouse!

It was here that Dominic’s character showed itself most clearly. While Juliana sorted out paperwork and prepared to leave behind everything familiar, he was busy preparing for her arrival. He bought a car for her to use during her stay. He arranged a place for her to live. None of it was asked for; all of it was simply done — the quiet, practical kind of commitment that doesn’t announce itself but builds a foundation a person can actually stand on.

Before Juliana ever arrived, Dominic had arranged a car and a place for her to live
Before Juliana ever arrived, Dominic had arranged a car and a place for her to live

Juliana moved to Canada in December 2024, arriving in time for a white Christmas — a fitting beginning for a New Zealander used to summer in December. With the distance finally closed, the relationship deepened in the way only daily, in-person life allows. And when the time came for Dominic to ask the question, he chose his moment with intention.

He proposed on the feast of St. Joseph in 2025 — exactly one year, almost to the day, from the introduction that first brought them together just before that very feast. For a couple whose story had been quietly threaded with the foster father of Our Lord from the beginning, the symmetry was unmistakable. What had started under St. Joseph’s patronage was now sealed under it.

With the help of both their families, Dominic and Juliana planned a beautiful wedding in Canada, and on September 6, 2025, they were married.

Looking back, Juliana is quick to credit the introduction itself for making any of it possible. “It’s just so hard to find the right person nowadays,” she reflects, “and here we are, thrown right into each other’s path.” She’s candid that without that arranged introduction, the two would almost certainly never have found one another. Dominic told her as much himself — that if it weren’t for the introduction, he would never have thought to reach out to a woman all the way across the world.

In her words, those introductions did more than connect two people. They gave a real chance to those living in the remote corners of the world, and added “a beautiful touch of divine Providence” to every meeting and outcome — a phrase that captures her whole story rather neatly.

Married in Canada on September 6, 2025, with a little one on the way
Married in Canada on September 6, 2025, with a little one on the way

Today, Dominic and Juliana have settled into married life in Canada — and as of this summer, they’re preparing for something new. The couple is expecting their first child in July 2026.

“We thank God, St. Joseph, and CatholicCourtship for bringing us together,” Juliana says. “We are blessed and happy in our married life.”

From a single introduction just before the feast of St. Joseph, to a marriage and a child barely two years later — half a world bridged by a little providence and a great deal of intention.
And we at CatholicCourtship couldn’t be happier for them.

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Jack and Marie’s Story https://thecatholiccourtship.org/jack-and-maries-story/ https://thecatholiccourtship.org/jack-and-maries-story/#respond Fri, 30 Aug 2024 17:12:58 +0000 https://thecatholiccourtship.org/?p=9208

Have you ever been ducked? To anyone who doesn’t drive a Jeep, that may seem like a strange way to begin a conversation. But Jack, already well aware of the tradition of gifting Jeep drivers with rubber ducks, knew exactly what Marie meant. Meanwhile, miles away, Marie was doing her best to be open to [...]

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Have you ever been ducked?

To anyone who doesn’t drive a Jeep, that may seem like a strange way to begin a conversation. But Jack, already well aware of the tradition of gifting Jeep drivers with rubber ducks, knew exactly what Marie meant.

Meanwhile, miles away, Marie was doing her best to be open to God’s guidance after hearing a particularly powerful homily on the need to be specific in prayer. In response, she had begun a 54-day novena, taking weekly trips to a nearby shrine to pray before the statue of St. Joseph on Wednesdays.

One of Marie’s specific requests was that her future husband have a devotion to St. Joseph, himself. So when she read Jack’s profile and saw that he was particularly devoted to Our Lord’s saintly foster father, she immediately reached out. Admittedly, Marie isn’t usually the type to make the first move, but she credited Our Lady and St. Joseph with inspiring her message.

Once Jack responded, the two kept up a steady text conversation until one day, when Jack added Marie on Facebook and called her on the spur of the moment. Unprepared for their first call but undaunted, Marie answered the phone – and the couple talked for 6 hours! From liturgical preferences to classic films and everything in between, Jack and Marie were pleasantly surprised to find that they had a lot more than just their shared faith in common.

“Even before meeting, we were inseparable,” Marie reveals. “We both put each other first and put time into the relationship by sharing what was going on in our lives every day.”

Jack and Marie were inseparable even before they met for the first time

An incredible feat given that the couple lived a literal thousand miles apart at the time of their meeting. But despite the challenges that their long-distance bond created, in a short time, they were able to recognize that there was something very special about this relationship. About two and a half weeks after they first began talking, a particularly touching message from Jack brought Marie to tears – and a pivotal moment.

“I just thought, ‘This guy is so different. He gets it.’” Then, when she was praying later that evening, a thought sprung to mind: ‘I could marry him.’

After that revelation, Marie took down her profile, and she and Jack planned their first in-person meeting. Marie had been planning a trip to New England with her sister to admire the fall colors, and Jack joined the two, acting as a tour guide. Their time together went so well that Jack visited Marie in her hometown the following month to officially ask her to begin the process of courtship.

Fast forward a few months later, and Jack was planning a surprise for Marie.

“I called and asked her mother for permission to propose, and then coordinated with her sisters to plan the engagement.”

Jack proposed to Marie at the same shrine where she first prayed for her future husband

Unbeknownst to Marie, Jack flew back to meet her at the same shrine where she first prayed for her future husband. But the meeting didn’t go as smoothly as anticipated.

“There’s a tradition in Ireland that if a man wants to propose, he throws his hat inside the woman’s house,” Jack explains. “If she throws it back out, it’s a no, but if she keeps it, it’s a yes. Well, I threw my hat inside the shrine where they were praying, it hit a pillar, and it bounced right back out!”

Unwilling to leave his next move up to chance, Jack opted to throw his hat down at Marie’s feet instead. Through joyful tears, she eagerly accepted both his proposal and the rubber duckie he gave her as a nod to their first conversation.

Amidst a crowd of friends and family, the two were wed on August 17, 2024, exactly one year to the day that Marie’s first message started it all. To mark the fateful moment, a clock standing tall amid their reception venue counted down to the exact minute the message was sent.

“We’re beyond grateful for The CatholicCourtship,” Marie says. “And so excited to begin our life together.”

And we at The CatholicCourtship couldn’t be happier.

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Making Connections Online for Courtship: A Step-by-step Guide https://thecatholiccourtship.org/making-connections-online-for-courtship/ https://thecatholiccourtship.org/making-connections-online-for-courtship/#respond Thu, 25 Jul 2024 18:58:25 +0000 https://thecatholiccourtship.org/?p=9183

Discover tips on making online connections for courtship without incurring the headache of “online dating fatigue.”

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Often, meeting people in person can be a daunting task. From living in a small town with little or no eligible singles to being engulfed in a parish community saturated with married couples to not having enough sample of singles who share their values and goals, young single Catholics continue to face myriads of courtship challenges. The social fabric of our lives is increasingly becoming less communal and more individualistic owing to the rise in the use of technology for human connections.

For Catholics, living in the modern world means learning to adapt to it without losing the chief values that define us. It’s about prioritizing our faith and the Church’s teachings in our daily life undertakings, and we can do this even in the digital age. We’re not entirely immune to the influences of technology, especially as a tool for facilitating human connections. Still, we can choose how we respond to them, always keeping our faith and values at the forefront. 

As single Catholics, we must understand that while meeting potential spouses in person seems ideal and desirable, many successful Catholic families began their initial acquaintance-making journey from online platforms. This couple, who met on our matchmaking platform, is a few weeks away from being joined together in Holy Matrimony. 

In this short series of guides, we’ll offer concise insights into how you can make connections online for the purposes of courtship without incurring the headache of “online dating fatigue.”

What exactly is courtship, and how does it differ from dating? In one of our previous articles, we explored the topic of courtship and the different stages. Before we begin, we must refresh our minds on how courtship differs from modern dating. Firstly, courtship has a specific destination in mind: a sacramental marriage. Whereas dating can lead to undefined, ongoing relationships, courtship is an intentional process by which two people who both know their destination discover whether they will become partners in the journey.

Courtship moves through 4 distinct stages:

Courtship in different stages

Friendship: At this stage, you’ll get to know multiple potential partners and interact with them in a friendly, casual manner. This stage aims to build a foundation upon which to grow if you should enter into an exclusive relationship. Significant questions to consider here include:

  • Is this person committed to the Catholic faith?
  • Do we have things in common besides our faith?
  • Am I physically attracted to this person?
  • Does this person have the zeal for a virtuous life?
  • Do I enjoy spending time with this person?
  • Do I want to spend more time together?

Courtship/Exclusive Relationship: Once you’ve identified the person you’re most interested in and most compatible with, you will enter into an exclusive relationship in which you both suspend your online accounts and spend time together in person, meeting both families and discussing a possible future.

Betrothal/Engagement: If you discern and decide to commit your lives to each other, you’ll enter into the engagement phase, in which you’ll spend more time preparing for marriage through a preparatory course and discussing the practical details of your upcoming marriage.

Marriage: Having reached your destination, you’ll settle into your married life and come to know each other more deeply as you build a shared life together.

Because your time on The CatholicCourtship platform (or any matchmaking app) focuses primarily on meeting and getting to know new people, this guide will focus most of its attention on the nuances of the Friendship stage.

Pre-Courtship

Before entering the journey of courtship, it is crucial to assess your current state to determine whether you’re ready to enter into a sacramental marriage. Before signing up, consider these questions:

For Women:

  • Am I ready to make a lifelong commitment to someone, or does that feel like a faraway reality?
  • Have I healed from any prior negative relationships or experiences? Can I consider potential partners as they are without superimposing other peoples’ behavior onto them?
  • Do I have the proper motivation for courting? Am I looking for a God-centered relationship with a unique and unrepeatable individual, or do I want to be married for the sake of marriage?
  • Am I ready to become a mother and embrace the children God may gift to me and my spouse? Would I be willing to stay home with my children if need be?
  • Am I comfortable deferring to my future husband regarding faith and finance?
  • Am I committed to Christ and His Church? Do I love God and desire to reflect His love through marriage?

For Men:

man in black formal suit wearing eyeglasses
  • Am I ready to commit my life to someone and devote my time and energy to her alone?
  • Do I have realistic expectations about my partner? Can I approach a woman as she is without comparing her to friends, family, or others I have courted in the past?
  • Do I have the proper motivation for courting? Am I looking for a God-centered relationship with a unique and unrepeatable individual, or do I want to be married for the sake of marriage?
  • Am I financially secure and able to provide for my future wife and children? Am I willing to take on multiple jobs if necessary?
  • Am I emotionally mature and able to understand my partner’s viewpoint without taking offense? Can I empathize? Am I willing to cooperate and consider my partner’s concerns when making decisions that affect our family?
  • Am I strong and rooted in my faith, comfortable with being the spiritual head of my future family? Do I have faithful friends and mentors to guide me along the way?

You’re ready to begin your courtship journey if you’ve answered yes to most or all of these questions. If not, don’t be discouraged. Taking the time to address whatever might stand in the way of a successful courtship is as important as the courtship itself.

The following article in this series is on Joining A Virtual Platform and Making Connections during the first week.

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Faith-Centered Courtship: 3 Ways Men Can Lead It https://thecatholiccourtship.org/faith-centered-courtship/ https://thecatholiccourtship.org/faith-centered-courtship/#respond Wed, 05 Jun 2024 19:43:38 +0000 https://thecatholiccourtship.org/?p=9077

There’s a reason that more and more devout Catholics are opting for the experience of intentional courtship rather than that of casual dating. Faith-centered courtship stands in stark contrast to a worldview that promotes multiple fleeting and disposable relationships, instead offering its participants the opportunity to find one lasting, true, good, and beautiful relationship – [...]

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There’s a reason that more and more devout Catholics are opting for the experience of intentional courtship rather than that of casual dating. Faith-centered courtship stands in stark contrast to a worldview that promotes multiple fleeting and disposable relationships, instead offering its participants the opportunity to find one lasting, true, good, and beautiful relationship – one that reflects the inner life of the Trinitarian God.

For devout Catholics, relationships are a serious matter, made so by the fact that they reflect the life and love of Christ. Unlike conventional dating, courtship isn’t merely a game of chance. Instead, it’s a clearly marked pathway to discerning a partner who shares your beliefs and values; an invitation to build a relationship based on trust, authenticity, and a shared spirituality. Unlike dating, which is a mere social interaction; courtship is an opportunity to align one’s life with God’s plan.

Growing in Faith During Courtship

What does it mean for a man to cultivate a faith-centered courtship? For men, leading a faith-centered courtship is similar to tending to a garden. Just as a garden requires careful cultivation to thrive, a faith-rich relationship requires intentional effort and nurturing to grow. The couple waters their bond with prayer, feeds it with shared spiritual experiences, and weeds out external influences that could hinder its growth with sacrifices. The end result is a relationship that blossoms into Christ-like love and commitment, rooted in the couple’s shared faith and mutual respect.

How can you create such a partnership? Jesus taught that a house built on a weak foundation will fall, but a house built on a firm foundation will stand (cf. Matthew 7:24-27). The man here needs to prioritize having a good spiritual life whether it is making time for prayer, receiving the sacraments often, and seeking spiritual guidance from a priest as the man who struggles with his spiritual life cannot lead a faith-centered courtship. A strong foundation of faith and sound spirituality not only shields you from subjecting yourself to your passions and desires but also enables you to master the art of discerning God’s will by concentrating on what draws you closer to God.

3 Ways You Can Lead A Faith-Centered Courtship

Here are some practical ways to help you grow in faith during courtship:

1. Pray Together and for Each Other

Making courtship a prayerful affair by commending yourselves to Our Lord, the Blessed Virgin, St Joseph, or your favorite saints is not a practice for the holiest of couples, but a necessity for every young man and woman in courtship. During courtship, one needs an abundance of graces to escape or overcome all the trials and temptations one frequently faces. Christ urges us to pray often to avoid temptation (cf. Matthew 26: 41). Prayer is how we supplicate divine graces that enable us to live out the virtues for our states of life. Are you struggling with understanding each other or having clarity? Pray for discernment. Are you having difficulties refraining from overestimating yourself? Pray for humility. And so on!

When we pray for ourselves and others, we are showing a great act of charity as we both are raising our minds to God, as well as desiring the spiritual welfare of another.
So as the man, it is your duty to lead the woman you’re courting in prayer and create more opportunities to develop a common prayer habit together. As you advance in your courtship journey, the young man and woman need to have common and personal prayers.

Pontifical Mass of Blessed Carlo Acutis with The Blessing of The New Shrine

Here is a helpful guide:

  1. Set aside specific times each to pray together.
  2. Choose either morning or evening/night prayers.
  3. Explore different forms of prayer together. The Rosary, for instance, is a powerful way to meditate on the mysteries of Christ’s life while seeking the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Devotional prayers to favorite saints, novenas, and other specific prayers are other ways to diversify your prayer life.
  4. Set spiritual goals, such as completing a novena together.
  5. Dedicate certain days to fasting and abstinence, such as Wednesdays and Fridays, as a meaningful way to practice mortification.

Do not imagine that you can overcome all the issues you’d encounter by mere reasoning and logical conversations. The truth is that you need the grace of God from the inception of the courtship journey to its maturity into a marriage. Through regular prayer, together and for each other, you build a spiritual foundation that supports your relationship. This habit nurtures your faith and deepens your mutual commitment, aligning your relationship with God’s will and preparing you for the sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

2. Attend Mass and the Sacraments Together

Gentlemen, take her to Mass regularly!

a priest offering Mass at the High Altar

To assist at Mass and participate in the sacraments is essential for growing in your faith. The Mass is the highest form of worship in the Catholic Church, where you encounter Christ in the Eucharist. It’s at Mass that Catholics [in a state of grace] share in Christ’s divinity through participation in the Eucharist – you in Me and I in him (cf. John 6:56) – and become contemporaries through divine grace! What could be nobler than sharing in this mysterious event side by side with the one whom you love? By assisting at Mass together regularly, you draw closer to Christ and each other, united in the celebration of His sacrifice.

One of the material pieces of evidence that a soul desires perfection is to confess your sins through the sacrament of Penance. Regular confession helps you stay spiritually healthy, acknowledging your sins, being sorrowful, and receiving God’s mercy.  When you make it a habit to go to confession together, it can foster mutual support in your spiritual life. It helps in building mutual accountability and strengthens your ability to overcome your common weaknesses.

As a man, strive to prioritize the Mass and the sacraments. As often as possible, encourage your partner to participate in other liturgical and devotional practices. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, attending retreats, and participating in parish activities are excellent ways to deepen your faith together.

When you make Mass and the sacraments a priority in your courtship, you show your spiritual leadership abilities as the potential head of the family. Also, you invite Christ to be at the center of your relationship. This shared commitment to your faith helps you grow closer to God and each other, preparing you for a lifelong, faith-centered marriage.

3. Take Spiritual Readings Together

Some individuals are more capable of understanding what they read by explaining to others the main points, while others learn better by listening to other’s explanations. Spiritual readings are a valuable tool for deepening your faith and understanding of God’s plan for your lives. By reading and discussing spiritual books and articles together, you can explore the richness of the Catholic tradition, its morals and values, and apply its wisdom to your relationship.

Here are a few options on what or how to execute this:

  1. Choose books that resonate with your interests and spiritual needs. Classic spiritual works such as “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas à Kempis, “Introduction to the Devout Life” by St. Francis de Sales, or “The Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Ávila offer profound insights into the spiritual life.
  2. Use the Roman Calendar and read about the Saint whose feast is being celebrated each day. See what virtues encompassed their lives and how you might practice the same in your own lives.
  3. As you read together, set aside time for discussion and reflection. Sharing your thoughts, insights, and questions helps you understand the material more deeply and apply it to your lives. This practice also fosters open communication and mutual growth, as you learn from each other’s perspectives.

Make spiritual reading a regular part of your routine, setting aside time each week to read and discuss together. What you learned during courtship or the habits you developed during this phase in your journey would prove to be valuable when you get married.

In summary, a faith-centered courtship journey is grounded in spiritual growth, deep connection, and mutual understanding – all of which will prepare you for the roles of potential husband and father that you are called to fulfill. This means taking the time to truly get to know them on a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual level.

Throughout your courtship, you must prioritize your relationship with God above all else. This means seeking His guidance and direction in all aspects of your lives, including our romantic relationships. By doing so, you can ensure that you are on the path God intended for you.

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Stages of Catholic Courtship: The Man’s Guide https://thecatholiccourtship.org/the-mans-guide-to-navigating-the-stages-of-catholic-courtship/ https://thecatholiccourtship.org/the-mans-guide-to-navigating-the-stages-of-catholic-courtship/#respond Thu, 07 Sep 2023 04:32:00 +0000 https://thecatholiccourtship.org/?p=9002

Embarking on the journey of Catholic courtship involves navigating through four distinct stages, each with its defining characteristics and responsibilities. Discover how men can approach friendship development, courtship exclusivity, betrothal commitments, and the lifelong commitment of marriage with respect and purpose.

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Think of the courtship process as a long road trip. You have a destination in mind, but you’ll also take the time needed to enjoy the journey. Along the way, you explore different routes, encounter unexpected detours, and learn valuable lessons. Similarly, courtship is a journey of discovery; an opportunity to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your shared aspirations. And just like a road trip, your destination of marriage will be all the more fulfilling because of the meaningful journey that led you there.

In this article, we’ll briefly discuss the four stages of Catholic courtship, their defining characteristics, and some suggestions to make the most out of your “trip.”

A. Friendship/Interest Development

Whereas secular culture looks down on the idea of being friends with a potential spouse (you don’t want to get “friend zoned,” after all), courtship recognizes and appreciates the value of getting to know someone as a friend before pursuing a more serious relationship. At this stage in your courtship journey, you’ll likely be spending time together in larger friend groups instead of one-on-one. If such dates do occur, they’ll be more casual, such as meeting for coffee. Exclusivity isn’t a concern at this point, as you could easily be friends with several people at the same time. It’s both proper and ethical for a man to pay attention to several women at the same time.

While still in the friendship phase, the man should, through informal measures, ascertain that progressing into the next stage would be mutually desirable. You should be looking for the following markers in your potential partner:

  • Is the person committed to the Catholic faith and lives according to its teachings?
  • Does this person have good character and maturity?
  • Does this person possess enough virtue and morals?
  • Do you have things in common besides your faith, such as aspirations in family life?
  • Are you physically attracted to this person (not that it should be a top priority)?

The friendship stage shouldn’t last for very long; three months is generally considered an appropriate time limit. If you’re still not interested in pursuing an exclusive relationship at this point, you should be honest about it. A woman’s time is valuable and should be treated as such. Conversely, you should never press for exclusivity before the three-month mark.

The Friendship or Interest Development phase comes to an end whenever the man makes a formal approach to the woman and/or her parents with the intent of courtship. Remember, courtship is a journey. If you want to get to your destination, you’ll have to invest an appropriate amount of time to get there.

B. Courtship/Exclusive Relationship

Once you’ve gotten to know your partner as a friend and have formally expressed the desire to enter into an exclusive relationship or sought the approval of her parents to court her, you’ll have moved on to the second stage in your journey, which typically lasts anywhere from three to twelve months. At this point, exclusivity is key. Pause your online accounts and don’t reactivate them unless you and your partner decide that you’re not compatible for marriage.

This is also the time at which you’ll shift from group dates with friends to spending time with each others’ families. This is a very important step because when two people come together in matrimony, they don’t do so in isolation. In the Faith of Millions, Father O’Brien observed that “the tendency of young people to confide in no one about their engagement or courtship, and to keep the whole affair a secret until after marriage, closes the door to many helpful influences which would at least lessen the danger of an obviously unwise choice.” Furthermore, he states:

The young person considering marriage should consider the qualities of the mind and heart employ prudential judgment and listen to the voice of reason. Often listening to the advice of parents and sensible persons should be considered as their counsel could represent what a blind man could have pointed out that the ones with vision failed to see.

John O’Brien

The family cultures that have shaped you and your partner will play a big role in creating your new life together, so it’s of the utmost importance that you take the time to become acquainted with those people, cultures, and traditions before deciding to marry. Courtship, in a traditional sense, involves parental oversight, while allowing the man and the woman to develop their feelings and discern organically.

During this phase, one-on-one dates will also become more common, but both parties should be cautious when it comes to company-keeping. It should be conducted in a safe environment where spending time alone would not become an occasion of sin. Demonstrating physical affection (such as kissing, necking, and petting) at this phase is quite imprudent as feelings developed for one another that fail to culminate into a lasting union or marriage would prove to be emotionally painful, especially for the woman. Even simple touches can cause physiological reactions that promote the bonding process between couples. If you’re still not sure of whether or not you and your partner are compatible for marriage – that is, no engagement or betrothal has taken place – it would be irresponsible to communicate the contrary with your actions.

During this stage, practical discussions about raising children, financial situations, preferred living locations, and so on are to be discussed. The man has to work to strengthen their friendship and shared interests. It is important to demonstrate the qualities that make you a marriage-worthy man. For example, being willing to sacrifice for your partner and provide for her, being attentive to her needs and eager to meet them, and demonstrating the ability to deny yourself for her benefit. Consistently responding to her with empathy and care will go a long way toward fostering the kind of deep emotional bond that will encourage her to trust you without reservation.

C. Betrothal/Engagement

This phase begins with a formal promise of marriage. Once you’ve discerned and carefully evaluated your time together and made the decision to commit your lives to each other, you’ll need to approach your partner’s father to ask his permission to marry his daughter. Following his approval, you’ll be free to propose to your bride-to-be and continue on your journey to marriage. At this point, some couples will opt to complete a Solemn Rite of Betrothal, which is a contract in the traditional rite and involves making a series of promises to each other in the presence of a priest. Once completed, the betrothed couple is bound to enter into marriage at the set date, excepting a grave cause. This phase typically lasts between six months to one year. In some places, the Church can marry an engaged couple within three months, other places have a six-month to one-year benchmark.

During this stage, you’ll be preparing more intensely for marriage, likely by completing a pre-marriage course at your parish and spending time with your partner sorting out the practical details of your new life together. Here comes the planning for a wedding and all that comes with starting a future life. It’s an exciting time, so enjoy every minute, but be sure to keep your focus where it belongs – on God, your partner, and your relationship. This period also is full of trials and a test of one’s fidelity to Catholic morality, as well as values. It involves spiritual preparation and prayers. In short, the ethical and moral nature of a relationship between a young catholic man and woman during engagement or betrothal should be within the boundaries of Catholic teachings. It is usually at this phase that a lot of couples fall and become lapse into lust. Therefore, continency and self-denial – a control of the biological urges – should be paramount. More than anything, you’ll be practicing deferred gratification, the ability to sacrifice for the sake of the one you love. This phase concludes on the wedding day.

D. Marriage/Matrimony

Congratulations! At this stage, you’ve reached your destination: a holy and loving marriage built on God’s will for your lives. But this doesn’t mean your journey is over – far from it! Now is the time when you’ll truly settle into your shared life, getting to know each other even more deeply, finding your routine, and hopefully raising a family. The same qualities of self-sacrifice, attention, care, and provision that led you along the road of courtship will be instrumental in demonstrating your enduring commitment to your wife and family. Thankfully, after your journey, you’ve now got a lot of practice! This phase typically lasts forever, excepting the death of one’s spouse.

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