The Virgin Mary is an iconic model for us Catholics. However, for us Catholic women, she poses a special example, because she is like us in our most essential attribute: Womanhood.
The state of femininity in our current culture strongly testifies to the need for more women to accept their God-given role in society. Indeed, Our Lady, a mother, and a virgin, can provide insights for women from all walks of life, and imitating her involves nothing more than looking at her virtues and finding pragmatic ways they may be incorporated into our daily lives as ladies.
Humility and Receptivity
The Church considers humility as the foundation of all virtues because it is upon humility that all other virtues can be built. Humility allows us to recognize our poor state as fallen humans and, therefore, see our need to be granted goods. As a result, it enables us to constantly seek God’s mercy, goodness, and providence in our lives.
In light of this, humility is most responsible for developing femininity; without it, the art of receiving is almost impossible to cultivate. To be feminine is to be receptive. Do you wonder why the Church is always considered ‘mother’? The Church is spoken about in the feminine pronoun because she receives us as her children and nourishes us in the teachings and precepts that she has received from Christ. The Virgin Mary does the same in a far more personal manner. She lived her life only receiving and pondering on God’s graces.
As St. Joseph’s wife, she lived in complete receptivity to God’s providence through her husband’s hands. As Our Lord’s mother, she was receptive to His will in suffering and dying for mankind. As our mother, she is always there to receive our prayers and pray for us in return.
Today, the notion of receptivity in women is looked down upon, because of the false idea that it makes women weaker. A perfect example is the posters boasting the slogan, ‘Chivalry is dead’. If it is, why did it die? Why have women grown so repulsive to the idea of receiving from men, or even other women? Receptivity does not make you weaker. It is pride that gives you the illusion that you need no help or gift.
When you are gifted, complimented, or helped, be grateful and show that you are. In family life, friends, and work environments do not be afraid to ask for help when needed, whatever the issue may be. In your spousal relationship, practice being receptive to your husband in little and big things alike. Show appreciation from the heart when something is done for you, no matter who has done it or the quality of the favor.
In your relationship with God, recognize your utter dependence on him in everything you do -prayer and duties. There is strength in giving, but I believe there is more in receiving. And only humility can help you receive well.
Purity and Childlikeness
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But, when I became a man, I put away the things of a child.” -1 Cor. 13:11.
St. Paul is right. However, the only things of a child that should not be put away are purity (innocence) and childlikeness. Apart from the fact that Our Lady is perpetually pure, her life can be seen as an example of child-like confidence in God. Though she harbored difficulties and uncertainties while caring for her Divine Son, she always carefully placed them under His consideration. In Church tradition, it is said that she always besought the Lord with humble and quiet entreaties.
As a child, it is beneficial to see life innocently and to let go of the many cares that may make us sulky, bitter, or frustrated with life. Being a child is synonymous with being happy, even on the rainy days. There is always something to be grateful for, and of the things that worry us, humble confidence in God never fails.
The next time you get anxious about something, resolve to take it to prayer and confidently leave it before God’s feet. Then run outside, like a child, and play. Smile and find things that make you happy. His providence has never failed me. Instead, I have found that most of the things I worry about never come to fruition.
Modesty and Meekness
Modesty has become a topic of contention, even among Christian circles. Though it is not an unimportant topic, I see that ‘modesty in dressing’ is often more talked about than ‘modesty in conduct’. As women, our outward appearance should reflect our dignity. However, no matter how modest we become in appearance, if our conduct is sullying, it’ll be much more damaging.
The previous statements on humility may be considered here. Modesty is the virtue moderating our outward appearance and conduct, and to do so requires humility. It is said of Our Lady that while on earth, her apparel and behavior reflected that she was the handmaid of the Lord. Even in Marian apparitions, where her clothing and mannerisms are described, she is always modest. Her modesty adds so much to her mystique and gives testament to her status as the Queen of Heaven and Earth. Even on Earth, royals are always seen to behave and dress modestly.
So why not improve your feminine mystique by developing the virtues of modesty and meekness? Resolve to think before speech or action. Will your next word or deed help your neighbor or praise God? Put consideration into your clothing styles and choices, because dressing well is a virtue in and of itself. Be slow to anger and frustration, whether it be from friends, families, and especially enemies. You could also resolve to shun the vainglory that comes from the inordinate expression of yourself, whether it be in clothing or behavior.
Finally, many more Marian virtues can be discussed concerning growing as a feminine woman. But the most important is humility, from which all other virtues stem. The more you become virtuous, the more you will develop in your femininity, and the more you will resemble Our Lady.
Christine Mako
Christine Mako is an avid reader and a zealous writer currently majoring in physiology at University College Dublin, Ireland. You can find her online at dreamsoftomorrow.comwhere she shares her experiences and insights with young Catholic women to help them develop their femininity and live a fulfilled faithful life in preparation for their married vocation.