After spending time talking with your preferred partners online and through video chat, now is the time to progress to an in-person meeting and plan your first date. Always remember to be courteous to the people you are not pursuing further connections with and to exit those conversations tactfully and gracefully.
For Women:
- Please only accept in-person dates or follow-up calls with men you feel connected with and genuinely want to see again. Kindly excuse yourself from other invitations.
- Always be safe when meeting someone for the first time – let friends or family know where you’ll be when, and ask someone to check in on you by calling at a particular time during your date.
For Men:
- If you want to see someone again after a video call, invite her to an in-person date. If you two are separated by distance, ask her to do another video call.
- When planning your in-person date, choose a public location and opt for a daytime date, if possible. It’s important that your date feel comfortable when meeting you for the first time.
The Anatomy of a Great First Date
Are you not sure where to start when it comes to planning that first in-person meeting? Include these elements, and you’ll be well on your way to a great first date.
Your Attitude: A positive, optimistic mindset makes a difference when preparing for a date. Regardless of your past dating experiences, this should feel like a fresh start, so resolve to see it that way. Be hopeful! Instead of living in the past or projecting an apprehensive or guarded demeanor, stay in the present and focus on being receptive to the possibility of a meaningful connection.
Think Levity: Choose a low-pressure location or activity for your first date, and opt for a public area so that your date feels safe. Consider meeting at a coffee shop, strolling through a market together, or having a picnic. If your date seems more adventurous, trying a new activity together can be a fun way to get acquainted.
Making your date feel heard and respected is much more important than being eloquent.
Be Flexible: While thinking ahead is a good idea, avoiding rigidity when planning a date is also wise. Have some Plan B options in mind in case your date isn’t keen on the activities you’ve planned, or – better yet – if the date goes well and runs longer than anticipated.
Consider Reciprocity: Conversation is a two-way street, so stay attentive to your date and ask meaningful questions. When asked a question, respond with a similar one to keep the conversation going. Remember to listen attentively to what your date is saying instead of planning for your next question. Making your date feel heard and respected is much more important than being eloquent.
Low Expectations: It may sound counterintuitive, but the less you expect from a first date, the more likely you will be pleasantly surprised – not to mention relaxed! Don’t expect certainty about whether this person will be your spouse, and don’t try to figure it out all at once. Courtship is a marathon, not a sprint, so stay in the moment and leave the wedding planning for another day.
Cherish Honesty: Remember, the point of a date is not to impress the other person or convince them to like you – it’s to discern whether you get along well and want to see each other again. After the date, be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and how you and your date interacted. If the connection wasn’t as strong as you’d hoped, that’s okay; don’t try to force it. If you had a good time and got along well, don’t let fear or insecurity keep you from moving forward.
The following article in this series is on Getting Offline during the fourth week.
The blog equips Catholic singles with relevant resources and valuable insights, providing a guide to mastering the complexities of courtship with confidence. Our customized content offers clear advice and assistance, helping to build assurance as you forge significant relationships grounded in Catholic principles.
