Often, meeting people in person can be a daunting task. From living in a small town with little or no eligible singles to being engulfed in a parish community saturated with married couples to not having enough sample of singles who share their values and goals, young single Catholics continue to face myriads of courtship challenges. The social fabric of our lives is increasingly becoming less communal and more individualistic owing to the rise in the use of technology for human connections.

For Catholics, living in the modern world means learning to adapt to it without losing the chief values that define us. It’s about prioritizing our faith and the Church’s teachings in our daily life undertakings, and we can do this even in the digital age. We’re not entirely immune to the influences of technology, especially as a tool for facilitating human connections. Still, we can choose how we respond to them, always keeping our faith and values at the forefront. 

As single Catholics, we must understand that while meeting potential spouses in person seems ideal and desirable, many successful Catholic families began their initial acquaintance-making journey from online platforms. This couple, who met on our matchmaking platform, is a few weeks away from being joined together in Holy Matrimony. 

In this short series of guides, we’ll offer concise insights into how you can make connections online for the purposes of courtship without incurring the headache of “online dating fatigue.”

What exactly is courtship, and how does it differ from dating? In one of our previous articles, we explored the topic of courtship and the different stages. Before we begin, we must refresh our minds on how courtship differs from modern dating. Firstly, courtship has a specific destination in mind: a sacramental marriage. Whereas dating can lead to undefined, ongoing relationships, courtship is an intentional process by which two people who both know their destination discover whether they will become partners in the journey.

Courtship moves through 4 distinct stages:

Friendship: At this stage, you’ll get to know multiple potential partners and interact with them in a friendly, casual manner. This stage aims to build a foundation upon which to grow if you should enter into an exclusive relationship. Significant questions to consider here include:

• Is this person committed to the Catholic faith?
• Do we have things in common besides our faith?
• Am I physically attracted to this person?
• Does this person have the zeal for a virtuous life?
• Do I enjoy spending time with this person?
• Do I want to spend more time together?

Courtship/Exclusive Relationship: Once you’ve identified the person you’re most interested in and most compatible with, you will enter into an exclusive relationship in which you both suspend your online accounts and spend time together in person, meeting both families and discussing a possible future.

Betrothal/Engagement: If you discern and decide to commit your lives to each other, you’ll enter into the engagement phase, in which you’ll spend more time preparing for marriage through a preparatory course and discussing the practical details of your upcoming marriage.

Marriage: Having reached your destination, you’ll settle into your married life and come to know each other more deeply as you build a shared life together.

Because your time on The CatholicCourtship platform (or any matchmaking app) focuses primarily on meeting and getting to know new people, this guide will focus most of its attention on the nuances of the Friendship stage.

Pre-Courtship

Before entering the journey of courtship, it is crucial to assess your current state to determine whether you’re ready to enter into a sacramental marriage. Before signing up, consider these questions:

For Women:

• Am I ready to make a lifelong commitment to someone, or does that feel like a faraway reality?
• Have I healed from any prior negative relationships or experiences? Can I consider potential partners as they are without superimposing other peoples’ behavior onto them?
• Do I have the proper motivation for courting? Am I looking for a God-centered relationship with a unique and unrepeatable individual, or do I want to be married for the sake of marriage?
• Am I ready to become a mother and embrace the children God may gift to me and my spouse? Would I be willing to stay home with my children if need be?
• Am I comfortable deferring to my future husband regarding faith and finance?
• Am I committed to Christ and His Church? Do I love God and desire to reflect His love through marriage?

For Men:

• Am I ready to commit my life to someone and devote my time and energy to her alone?
• Do I have realistic expectations about my partner? Can I approach a woman as she is without comparing her to friends, family, or others I have courted in the past?
• Do I have the proper motivation for courting? Am I looking for a God-centered relationship with a unique and unrepeatable individual, or do I want to be married for the sake of marriage?
• Am I financially secure and able to provide for my future wife and children? Am I willing to take on multiple jobs if necessary?
• Am I emotionally mature and able to understand my partner’s viewpoint without taking offense? Can I empathize? Am I willing to cooperate and consider my partner’s concerns when making decisions that affect our family?
• Am I strong and rooted in my faith, comfortable with being the spiritual head of my future family? Do I have faithful friends and mentors to guide me along the way?

You’re ready to begin your courtship journey if you’ve answered yes to most or all of these questions. If not, don’t be discouraged. Taking the time to address whatever might stand in the way of a successful courtship is as important as the courtship itself.

The following article in this series is on Joining A Virtual Platform and Making Connections during the first week.

CatholicCourtship

The blog equips Catholic singles with relevant resources and valuable insights, providing a guide to mastering the complexities of courtship with confidence. Our customized content offers clear advice and assistance, helping to build assurance as you forge significant relationships grounded in Catholic principles.

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  What Is Marriage? What Is It For? Asking the Right Questions During Courtship
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  Assessing Long-Term Compatibility in Courtship
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  How Does Courtship Compare to Dating?
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  If We Go on Dates, Aren’t We Dating?
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  Is Courtship and Dating the Same Thing?
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  Joining a Virtual Platform and Making Connections
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  Make Your Choice and Schedule A Video Call
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  Take the Plunge and Plan Your First Date
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  Get Offline During the Fourth Week