Now that you’re ready to embark on your path toward marriage, it’s important that you spend time in places that will facilitate interactions with potential partners. Courtship from an online perspective means joining a virtual platform or an app. Just as you would put time and effort into your appearance when attending a young adult event in person, you should spend this first week polishing your profile. It would help if you also aimed to interact with as many people as possible. Don’t worry; superficial connections will be pruned away as time passes. For right now, be open and start the conversation.
Goals for the first week
For Women:
- Unless you receive an offensive or single-word message, respond to every message you receive.
- Keep your responses brief. Don’t send a longer message than you receive.
- Remain polite and refrain from getting too attached to one person.
- Don’t feel obligated to answer personal questions this early in the conversation. If someone asks a question you’d instead not answer or that feels too deep for a casual discussion, state that you’re not comfortable discussing the matter at this time.
- Pray about your conversations and ask the Lord to direct them according to His will.
For Men:
- Message the women you’re interested in, but be sure to personalize your messages. Spending a little time reading her profile and asking meaningful questions will go a long way toward facilitating a fruitful conversation.
- Be open to everyone you meet, but refrain from sending messages to someone who doesn’t seem like a good fit for you. For example, don’t message a woman living two states away if you’re not interested in a long-distance relationship. Instead, focus on those living nearby.
- Keep your conversations light and friendly. Now is no time to discuss past relationships or how many children you want.
- Always reply to any responses you may receive. Ghosting is not only disrespectful, it’s also hurtful. You started the conversation; the least you can do is keep it going.
- Pray about your conversations and ask the Lord to direct them according to His will.
Tips for Creating a Successful Profile
If you want to stand out from the crowd, follow these simple tips:
1. Use Photos to Tell Your Story
Select photos that tell potential partners something about you. Do you love to hike? Take a photo outdoors on your favorite trail. Is cooking your thing? Get a shot of yourself plating your best dish. As far as your profile is concerned, you can never go wrong with a clear headshot and a sincere smile. No sunglasses allowed!
Do: Create a holistic image of who you are through your photos
Don’ts: Include pictures that are blurry, distant, or unclear in purpose, such as getting lost in group photos.
2. Be Specific
Including specific details about you can help others better understand who you are. Consider these examples. Which statement is more engaging and informative?
“I enjoy spending time with friends.”
“My family and I are very close.”
“I like to read.”
“My friends and I are on a mission to visit every museum in Washington.”
“My brothers and I have a standing tradition called Saints and Smokes. Last month, we discussed St. Junipero Serra while sampling Padron 1964.”
“I have a weakness for historical fiction, with a little bit of sci-fi thrown into the mix.”
3. Mention Your Ideal Partner
Remember, your profile isn’t just about you. Potential partners will use your profile to determine whether you two might be a good fit, so mentioning what you’re looking for in a partner is important. Whatever you’re looking for, be honest about it.
For example,
“I’m an easygoing person who enjoys trying new things and is looking for a like-minded individual to share fun experiences with.”
Or
“I dream of buying a farm and trying my hand at homesteading. I’d love to meet someone who loves nature and wants to get back to basics.”
4. Be Positive and People-Centered
You know what they say – you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. The same principle applies to your profile. If you want to attract a potential partner, focus on the positives and emphasize the things you’re passionate about or enjoy doing. Avoid mentioning prior relationships or negative experiences. Even if they’re a part of your story, you can always spin things positively. For example, instead of, “I’ve gone through some difficult relationships and need someone who won’t cheat,” try, “My past experiences have taught me to value honesty, intentionality, and communication.”
Ultimately, your profile should reflect who you are and what you seek. Just be yourself, and you’ll be well on your way to meeting your future spouse.
The following article in this series is on Make Your Choice and Schedule a Video Call during the second week.
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