You should be engaged in multiple conversations with potential partners by this time. Odds are good that some stand out to you more than others. Now is an excellent time to select 2 to 3 conversations to devote time to and schedule a video call with them. Be sure to excuse yourself politely from those conversations that are more surface-level. Remember, you’re not just interacting with a computer – you’re communicating with a person, and that person deserves your courtesy and respect.
Goals for the Second Week
For Women:
- Resolve to respond gracefully to messages indicating a desire for deeper interaction and those suggesting otherwise. Pray for help to do so.
- If you’ve been invited to a video call, approach the invitation as an opportunity to get to know someone, not a definitive ruling on whether or not you two will marry. This should be an enjoyable experience, so just be yourself and enjoy the moment.
- Don’t feel obligated to pursue a deeper connection with someone if you’re not as interested in him as he is you. You can politely refuse such an invitation if you feel the person is not a good fit. But try not to be overly selective, either – after all, you haven’t gotten to know these potential partners yet!
For Men:
- Select 2-3 potential partners and indicate that you’d like to spend more time getting to know them by inviting them to a video call.
- Message those women with whom you did not feel as strongly connected to let them know you are pursuing other conversations. Always be polite and thankful for their time.
- While on your calls, keep the conversation light and avoid damaging or controversial topics. The aim is to see whether you two are compatible and might want to progress to an in-person date, not to vent past grievances or hash out your future life prematurely.
- Regardless of how things go, always send a message after your calls thanking your potential partners for their time.
Tips for a Successful Video Call
Video calls are a great way to gauge compatibility, but after communicating exclusively through messages, they can also be a little intimidating. Try these tips to ensure your calls are as successful as possible.
Setting:
- Choose a well-lit area, ideally facing a window or lamp, so your face is visible. If needed, a ring light can also provide the necessary illumination.
- Consider curating the items behind you to say something about your personality. For example, if your call will take place before a bookshelf, which titles could you face toward the camera, or what items might you intersperse between the books to exemplify your style and preferences?
- Avoid hosting your calls in your bedroom or bathroom. Keep it classy!
Personal Preparation:
- Treat your video calls as you would in-person dates. That means wearing clean, flattering clothes that make you feel your best.
- Set your expectations beforehand. This video call is NOT the moment to know whether you’ve met your future spouse – it’s only a means to determine whether you are compatible with this person and would like to progress to in-person dates.
- There may be lulls in the conversation, and that’s okay! Think ahead to some stories you might share in such instances, or consider playing an icebreaker game. Example: Would you rather?
Conversation:
- Keep the conversation optimistic throughout your video call. Now is not the time to discuss exes, expectations, or timelines. Your views on politics should also be shelved for a later date.
- Talk about things you’re passionate about or that make you happy. Topics like hobbies, travel stories, or humorous situations will go a long way toward breaking the ice.
- Never ask your partner intrusive questions about their views or past experiences.
- Remember to smile!
After Your Call:
- Men, always thank your partner for her time. If you’d like to see her again, ask her for an in-person date. If not, graciously indicate that you don’t feel like you two are a great fit but that you appreciate getting to know her and wish her well.
- Ladies, respond similarly if you aren’t interested in seeing your partner again.
The following article in this series is on Taking the Plunge and Planning your First Date during the third week.
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